Yesterday it was announced that Big Mami (David Ortiz) is on the list of players who tested positive for steroids in 2003. Big fucking deal. I love baseball tonight as much as the next guy, but people, just chill. First of all, its apparent that from the early 90’s to around 2004 steroids were being taken like hot cakes around the league. Frankly if you weren’t taking them, you were either a pussy, already on meth, or the guy who was gonna rat everyone out. It would have been stupid not to have a few cases of the cream on you at all times because that was what the competition was doing. I remember seeing this picture of Giambi and having nightmares for the rest of the week.
Ken Caminiti was so jacked his goatee had muscles.
But I digress. Yes, steroids are a bad thing. They are an unnatural supplement that unfairly alter a timeless game. But, when hall of famers are interviewed and are quoted as “disgusted” and “enraged” by the use of steroids in the fraternity of baseball they have since retired from I want to scream. These guys are bitter old men who played double the seasons for about an eighth of the salary. You think any of the greats would have passed up a chance to get swollen in one off-season and improve their batting average by 20 points. Fuck yeah. Joe Dimaggio would have been doing lines of HGH off Marilynn Monroe’s ass. Back then there was no such thing as health concerns, cigarettes were advertised in between the flintstones. So fuck Hank Aaron’s snide remarks about Barry Bonds, you would have done the exact same thing, but because of you Barry, is now just as bitter as the rest of you old timers.